It's been a while, but I felt it was time to do another racist review. Not that there's anything racist about the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, but because more popular critics who gatekeep and, whether intentionally or unintentionally, perpetuate racial divides by always putting the race of the cast in review titles. Titles like:
‘Joy Ride’ Review: Outrageous Asian American Comedy Gives Fresh Foursome a Chance to Cut Loose
‘Chupa’ Review: Jonás Cuarón Applies the Amblin Formula to a Fluffy Mexican Creature Feature
‘Flamin’ Hot’ Review: Believe It or Not, This Neato Latino History Lesson Will Change Your Take on Cheetos
‘Fancy Dance’ Review: When a Native Mother Goes Missing, Lily Gladstone Takes Charge
‘Polite Society’ Review: A British Pakistani Teen Takes on the Patriarchy in High-Octane Culture-Clash Comedy
Compared to titles for non-minority projects
‘80 for Brady’ Review: Four Iconic Leading Ladies Chase Their Super Bowl Fantasies in Soft ’Ball Comedy
‘BlackBerry’ Review: A Ferocious and Nearly Unrecognizable Glenn Howerton Steals This Rowdy Tech-World Satire
Air’ Review: Ben Affleck Turns Nike’s Quest to Sign Michael Jordan Into This Generation’s ‘Jerry Maguire’
There is an obvious pattern, at least when it comes to casts and subjects not white or Black. The author of those reviews is easily one of the most accomplished critics of our time. I don't know him, but I do personally think he's a prick and a person who introduces his POC friends with their race before the word friend. He's also the douchebag who spoils movies in his reviews before the public even has a chance to see them.
While his writing is by many means, the gold standard in film and television criticism, the pretentiousness and overflowing privilege is palpable in his writing. The way he approaches diversity and inclusion is with the same ignorance as extremists who use "woke" as an insult but without the vitriol and hate. He also doesn't use a catch term to attempt to slyly sub out a slur, he directly uses the PC term with the confidence of a person who asks a POC where their parents are from after he asked them where they are from and they answered with the US City they were born and raised in.
So if the Chief Critic of Variety, his name is Peter Debruge, can race-bait articles, I'm going to clickbait mine with the word racist.
- I'm not going to go through this diatribe every time, but it's been two years since the last one so figure it needed more modern examples than when he reviewed Shang-Chi. Plus I've been gunshy about writing these since I'm applying for Rotten Tomatoes and directly addressing the whiteness and caucacity of media critics probably would not bode well with the 86% white gatekeepers of the governing body of the profession I am desperately trying to make a living off of is probably not smart.- (side note)
Progress moves at the pace of white comfort, making them uncomfortable is a bad idea. So... let's hope this doesn't get back to them. Or if it does, they're okay with someone who code-switches.
Back to my racist Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 Review

Anyway back to my racist review of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. For my critical analysis, be sure to read my actual review. This Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 review is going to focus more on the inclusivity of the film. Guardians of the Galaxy has been a very inclusive film from the start. The cast is very diverse, of the five core members, 3 are POCs; Drax (Dave Bautista), Gamora (Zoe Saldana), Groot (Vin Diesel). An argument can be made that the only human character is white and everyone else is painted or CGI. But when you see the press tour you see a considerable amount of melanin.
I kind of hit a point I didn't really think about before, pretty much all the humans in space are white... and then whenever there is a POC they're an alien... Djimon Honsou and Michelle Yeoh are the only POC who you can see as a POC before Vol. 3. I'm sure there were some Ravengers, Nova Corpsman, and other humanoid aliens that were POC. But anyone with a name... damn. Mantis counts, but like she's very alien...

In Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 we get Chukwudi Iwuji and Nico Santos. But like Daniela Melchior is painted, so she doesn't count. Dude... I had a whole different direction for this piece. While I'm not going to say Guardians of the Galaxy is not inclusive, we pretty much only see white humans in all of space. The two Black guys who are notable characters are villains. I mean Ving Rhames as Charlie-27 is notable, but he is not present in more than one act of the film. There are technically two Asian women, but like a cameo and then a humanized bug. So of all the major human presences are white...
But cast-wise, it's a very well-blended cast. The press tours, the promotion, it's such a great mix of people. Like idealistically so. Race is apparent but it's not a required focal point in any way. It gets to just be a movie without someone who is for or against inclusivity to call it out. No one complaining about a female lead. No one complaining about some maskless character not being white when the mask comes off. It is beyond approach.
I mean cast-wise it's as good as Star Trek when it comes to inclusion. But just noticing it now, pretty much only white humans in space. It doesn't take away from how much I love the films, and I still stand by it being the best superhero trilogy of all time. But damn, I can't help but not be able to unsee that basically, every human in space in Guardians of the Galaxy is a white dude. I mean there's Benicio Del Toro, but he's kind of neutral ground based on looks.

I'm going to list the ones I can think of: Star-Lord, Kraglin, Nova Corps (Glen Close, Peter Serafenowitz, John C. Riley,), Stakar Ogord, Gef, Recorder Vim, Administrator Kwol, Kevin Bacon, Tullk, and Ego.
POC's in space: Korath, The High Evolutionary, Recorder Theel, Aleta Ogord, Charlie-27, then Mantis, and The Collector. Oh and Phyla... but that's a spoiler. At least I know 99% of y'all won't know who that is even after watching.
Of the humans who got to look human and keep their skin color, essentially it's 2 to 1 white people. Not even going into the characters they played, because it's kind of bumming me out. Man...

Well my racist Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 review kind of found a racist theme to harp on and completely derail my original point. I by no means think it is a racist movie/franchise or anything like that. But I inadvertently stumbled upon a coincidence that the franchise essentially only shows white humans in space. Which is a thing/trope that a lot of sci-fi tends to do.
I mean in terms of cast, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 gets 5/5 for inclusion. But in terms of on-screen representation... I mean we still get a lot of POCs on screen, but like the film painfully falls into the minorities don't exist in space trope. Hell. the Quantum Realm had more human POCs than all of space explored in the Guardians. For falling into the trope, it gets a 1/5.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 is in theaters. Please don't take my ramblings to mean anything other than a coincidence I stumbled upon. Watch the movie, it's fantastic.
About Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. © 2023 MARVEL.
Release date: May 5, 2023 (USA) Director: James Gunn Writer: James Gunn Executive Producers: Kevin Feige, Victoria Alonso, Louis D’Esposito, Simon Hatt, Nikolas Korda, Sara Smith Co-Producers: David J. Grant, Lars P. Winther Cinematography: Henry Braham Music by: John Murphy Production Company: Marvel Studios Distributed by: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures Cast: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Karen Gillan, Pom Klementieff, featuring Vin Diesel as Groot, Bradley Cooper as Rocket, Sean Gunn, Chukwudi Iwuji, Will Poulter, Maria Bakalova Synopsis In Marvel Studios’ “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3” our beloved band of misfits are settling into life on Knowhere. But it isn’t long before their lives are upended by the echoes of Rocket’s turbulent past. Peter Quill, still reeling from the loss of Gamora, must rally his team around him on a dangerous mission to save Rocket’s life—a mission that, if not completed successfully, could quite possibly lead to the end of the Guardians as we know them.
I need to bring this up on a podcast and talk about it, because I want to be wrong so bad... Anyway, that's my racist review of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, or my analysis of the film through the lens of inclusion and representation which doesn't sound as catchy or controversial. Again you can read my actual review for my thoughts on the film as a fan/critic.
Stay tuned next time as I finally publish my racist Spider-Man: No Way Home review that I wrote because Debruge ruined the big surprise that the world -had a pretty good idea of- but he had to go and spoil it for them, and how I had probably the greatest cinematic moment of my life watching that movie.
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